I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
