i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Alive.
So much puke
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
