I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
