i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
FUCK WHALES
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
