Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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