From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I need to calm my uterus...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
