then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
