just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
