I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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