that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
