nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
