i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
