Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
please don't ironically join a cult
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