just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
