Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
