Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
people are starting to question the shark bite story
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up