Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize