what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it was like eating out sand paper
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.