is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.