yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
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Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
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I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house