Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.