dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
