the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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