you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
