i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
