It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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