"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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