I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
