I am puke
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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