I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
