awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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