so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
