im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
