The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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