We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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