I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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