"it" just moved
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
