Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
