I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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