Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize