Can Purell be used as lube?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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