He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
