so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
