her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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