Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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