I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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