Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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