She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am one with the molecules
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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