Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
whose parrot is this?
I'm too high and old for this...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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