I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
