youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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