I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
