I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
