I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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