First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize