he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
