Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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