I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
As shirtless as possible
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
