Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize