There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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