You're so nebulous sometimes
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
